However, the facts reveal that fluctuating levels of desire and a lack of intimacy affects one in three US women (of all ages and sexual orientation). A lower sex drive appears to be less of a problem for men, between 1% and 20%, but maybe they’re staying silent out of shame? Bottom line?; A low libido is more common than we think it is. *Breathes a sigh of relief*. Instead of feeling ashamed that your relationship currently borders on platonic, let’s take a moment to understand why low libido happens. Hormonal imbalance, low self-esteem, medications, painful sex, shame around sexual desires, and high levels of stress can all contribute to a sexless relationship or marriage. Or you could just have a low sex drive and be perfectly happy with amazing sex once a week/month. Quality over Quantity!
Many sex therapists suggest that a balance between mind and body is key. So, if you’re looking to increase your sex drive, here are some solutions:
- Be honest with yourself. Are you happy with your current sex life?
- Talk to your partner. What can you both do to avoid a sex-starved marriage /relationship?
- Speak to a therapist. A problem shared is a problem halved!
- Don’t rush into hormone therapy treatment. Try making small, healthy adjustments, such as sleeping and eating well, and making time for exercise.
- Ignore the harmful messages that society perpetuates. You’re not “less of” a man if you don’t think about sex 24/7. You’re not a dysfunctional woman if you don’t want sex all the time. You’re also not a slut if you have a high sex drive (and happen to be reading
this) - Be kind to yourself.

