Compare this experience to using a dry hand or sex toy, and you will see what we mean. Regardless of your gender, age, and sexuality, lubes can elevate your pleasure.

• Water-based: This is considered one of the best types since it can be used safely with most different sorts of sex toys, and condoms (always check though!), and doesn’t usually irritate sensitive skin. What’s more, it’s super easy to clean off with water, and arousal (or warming) and flavored lubes tend to be water-based.
  If we are being nit-picky, the only downside is that it dries up quickly compared to silicone-based lubes, which means you might need to reapply it.
• Silicone-based: Thanks to its silky texture, this type is longer-lasting than water-based. That’s why it is often touted as the best lube for anal sex, even though it is more difficult to clean off. It is compatible with non-silicone toys and condoms, but always check before trying.
• Oil-based (and similar products such as coconut oil): Best used for sensual massages as the consistency makes them easier to spread. Avoid using it with latex or polyisoprene condoms as the oil tends to increase the chances of the contraceptive tearing. Another thing to be mindful of is yeast infections. A study of 141 sexually active women between the ages of 18 and 65, found that those who reported using oils inside the vagina had a 32% increased risk for yeast infection.

Ready to unlock the next level of pleasure? Choose a lube that is right for you (and your partner). There is something out there for every preference, in terms of taste, scent, and sensations.

Lube isn’t just for those who experience vaginal dryness – like arousal gels, lubricant enhances what you’re already feeling, as well as providing different sensations (warming, cooling, flavours). Lube can also be added to the inside of condoms to heighten pleasure for penis owners. When it comes to anal sex, silicone-based lubricant is important because the anus is incapable of producing sufficient natural lubrication by itself. It can be used before or during anal penetration.

Water-based lubricants are a great place to start as they’re compatible with condoms and sex toys, plus there’s minimal mess involved. However, silicone-based lubricants -might be better pleasure-wise for anal sex and shower sex, as they last for longer.
An open-minded approach is required when it comes to lube – you may settle on one or you may want to have several on hand, depending on what you’re doing, who you’re with and where you’re doing it!

Sources:

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a37171961/best-lubes-on-amazon/
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28761859/best-arousal-gels/
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a39585/reasons-youre-not-getting-wet/
https://www.ippf.org/blogs/lube-5-great-reasons

And depending on the level of impairment or disability, some sex practices and intercourse positions work well, while others are trickier and need to be adapted. There are a myriad of ways to WORK WITH physical SEXUAL challenges– from using aids like wedges, sliding chairs, or swings, to finding a bed or table that’s at just the right height. Wheelchairs themselves can be a great help too. As with anyone, people need to know their own bodies in order to know how they will react in certain situations. So much of sexual pleasure happens in the brain and there are all kinds of ways to sharpen this, depending on personal turn-ons and turn-offs. Interestingly, some with spinal cord injuries tell of feeling the orgasm they had before their injury, but in another part of their body, such as above their waist. Even if someone can’t get an erection or orgasm in the ‘conventional’ sense, they can still enjoy sex. And you can enjoy it with them.

But while all sexual expression starts with feeling good about ourselves, overcoming the emotional and physical obstacles holding us back and finding partners with whom we can unleash our true selves naked, it can be harder in a world that’s not having those conversations. Society often tries to downplay disabled people’s sexuality. Let’s put that ignorant ABLEISM – THE SYSTEMIC DISCRIMINATION OF DISABLED PEOPLE IN FAVOR OF ABLE-BODIED PEOPLE – to bed. People with disabilities can be sexual, hyper-sexual, asexual, straight, queer, all of the above, enjoy sex, be totally sexy, kinky, not kinky, and have and give orgasms. And, like for the population at large, those things are true of some and not of others. All subjects to explore with somebody before you take off each other’s clothes.

And not sure who needs this to be articulated, but asking disabled people if they are able or equipped to have sex if you are not planning to make love to or with them imminently is just bad manners. File it under “Things we don’t ask anybody”. If you are into someone and can tell they are into you, it’s all part of figuring each other out and that is hot.

Sources:
https://www.aruma.com.au/about-us/blog/sex-and-disability-the-facts/
https://enhancetheuk.org/sex-and-disability/

How much, how good?

One reason for the fact gap: quality vs quantity. One large, long-term study conducted over an 18-year period found that younger people were satisfied when they were having a lot of intercourse and other sexual adventures. The same study discovered that, as people get older and acquire more sexual wisdom, they value good sex over a lot of sex. So when asked. “How is your sex life?”, their decline in satisfaction is taken as a decline in frequency of sex in later life.

The study underlines the benefits of maturing, including more knowledge in all areas of life, sexuality included, as older people report understanding their own sexual preferences more, what their partners are (and aren’t) into, and how this spills over into intimacy. Older people in romantic relationships report engaging in sexual exploration and a focus on their partner’s pleasure.

This sexual wisdom is often paired with another advantage of getting older: not caring so much what others think about us. The erotic freedom that comes with body acceptance and letting go of hang-ups can lead to deeper, more satisfying intercourse and other sexual practices. Which is great news, as sex after age 60, or 70, or beyond, is a great predictor of a longer, healthier life. As well as a more enjoyable one. The clichés should be put out to pasture. Not speaking truthfully about the joys of mature sex does everyone a disservice.

Sources:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_sex_gets_better_in_old_age

https://theconversation.com/why-sex-gets-better-in-older-age-69837

This information may come as a surprise to some readers, as sex between two women is quite often at the top of a man’s sexual fantasy list. Youtube vlogger Arielle Scarcella sat down with a group of straight women to ask them why they enjoyed watching lesbian porn so much. And the response was pretty conclusive:

“It’s easier for women to imagine themselves receiving pleasure when it’s more focused on the women in it, and there being two of them … and it’s usually more sensual than the ‘in and out and done’ with guys.” (Huffpost article from 2017)

In most parts of the world, girls are taught from an early age that to express any sexual desire is wrong and are shamed into staying silent. Masturbation and self-pleasure are viewed as being “dirty”, as soon as a clitoris is involved. But in reality, sexual fantasies and desires can be varied, regardless of one’s gender! In 2016, the Office of National Statistics in the UK released data on sexual identities across the UK: one clear pattern was that more women identified as bisexual (0.8%) than lesbian (0.7%). And that’s the women brave enough to speak up.

The encouraging takeaway here is the wider scope of porn that is emerging, visibly more diverse and female-centric. From audio erotica created by women (trans-inclusive) and non-binary folk, to feminist porn creators, the desire for a wide range of porn sex that is inclusive and ethical is being heard and satisfied.

Sources:
https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/when-sex-ed-fails-we-turn-to-pop-culture
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/why-more-and-more-women-are-identifying-as-bisexual-a7354751.html
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/straight-women-lesbian-a_n_587d0adbe4b0e58057ffc8fa

Total nonsense. There is nothing shameful or sad about using a sex toy, whatever your relationship status. Toys can help to keep the spark alive in long-distance relationships, make group sex more fun, or bring something new to the table for couples. One recent study showed that 65% of American women own at least one type of sex toy, either for fun or to breathe new life into their sexual encounters.

2. Sex toys are just for people with vaginas.

The heterosexual psyche appears to believe that sex toys undermine masculinity. But for heterosexual couples, it’s actually in the man’s interest to incorporate vibrators and the like into their couple sex life: a 2017 study found that just 18% of women orgasmed from vaginal penetration alone, while 37% of women needed additional clitoral stimulation to climax. Also, it’s fun! Time to put aside that male ego.

Sexologist Nikki Goldstein claims that sex-toy addiction is not actually a thing. As long as you know why you’re bringing toys into the bedroom – or wherever else you like to have sex – there is nothing to worry about. Sure, you may pick a favourite vibrator that you reach for more often but there’s no shame in that.

4. Sex toys can cause harm

They shouldn’t, if used as per the instructions provided. Home-made sex toys are not a good idea but vibrators and such from well-known brands go through testing to ensure their safety. Hygiene is something to think about – cleaning your sex toy(s) after each use and as indicated in the toy’s instructions for use is essential to avoid infection. There is also plenty of expert advice on this topic.

5. Sex toys are a dirty secret.

Not anymore. You may not hear them being spoken about on a daily basis, but sex toys are much more present in popular culture, making a more frequent appearance in the friend Whatsapp chat, and have been cited as one way to improve your levels of sexual wellness.

Sources:
https://www.ricemedia.co/culture-life-circuit-breaker-debunking-myths-sex-toys-cherry-affairs/
https://brandfuge.com/myths-about-sex-toys/
https://www.thehealthy.com/sex/sex-myths/
https://www.ricemedia.co/features-straight-singaporean-men-sex-toys/

It’s important to remember to remain open-minded and respectful when opening up this discussion with your partner. The aim is to foster openness and honesty not aggression and negative energy. To start with, focus on what has been working for your sex life ahead of delving into the reasons why it might be slipping down your priority list.

You may find that something comes up you or your partner having been waiting to address.

A good jumping off point might involve starting slowly, try to connect emotionally with your partner, focusing on affection before trying to increase frequency. Make an effort to spend more intimate moments together, whether that is doing daily activities together or increasing physical touch day-to-day.

Schedule it

Keeping a timetable perhaps doesn’t sound the sexiest approach to prioritising your sex life, but if your issue really is time, it may be the most practical way forward. Anticipation can be half the fun, focus on building the suspense before your scheduled sex date with fun things like sexting, nudes and planning what you’re going to do to eachother.
In the real world, people’s sex drives vary wildy, especially throughout a long-term relationship. The important thing is to not put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to ramp things up too quickly. Maintaining a great schedule may be the key that opens up your partnership and bumps sex to the top of your priority list.

Everyone has to be equally willing and excited. Threesomes may not be so fun if one person is going along with their partner’s desire, simply to keep them happy. It is also important that any women involved in group sex are not fetishized or made to feel like they’re only required to fulfil male fantasies.

Communication is key not only in the bedroom but before you get there. Establish what everyone is comfortable doing and not doing. (Now may not be the time to explore an S&M kink if someone doesn’t consent to being tied up.) Discuss whether you’re happy to engage in oral and/or penetrative sex – or not. The bottom line is that everyone should have an equal say.

Practise safe sex 

Safety is an important aspect to a successful threesome and this includes contraception. Who will be wearing what type of condom and when? Or will you all get tested beforehand and share your results? Who will be bringing the lube? Nothing should be taboo and there is no need for embarrassment – looking after the health of everyone involved is smart!

Rejection is part of it.

Group sex is not for everyone. Bear this in mind if you’re the one looking for a threesome partner(s) – if you’re using an app, simply keep swiping. On the other hand, if you’re the person being asked and doing the rejecting, remember to be graceful and non-judgemental.

What happens after?

Once the sex is over, spend some time cuddling or talking instead of throwing everyone out of the bed. Would you like to stay in touch with your threesome partners? This will be different to navigate depending on your relationship status but the most important thing is to be open and honest with your group sex partners.

Threesomes can certainly be a fulfilling sexual experience for many! If you’re looking to give them a go, just be conscious of the preparation and consideration involved.

Sources:
https://news.yahoo.com/guide-having-first-threesome-finding-110200756.html?guccounter=1
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/11/threesomes-men-women-sex-psychology
https://www.bustle.com/p/9-things-to-know-about-threesome-etiquette-according-to-experts-11980117
https://www.bustle.com/p/useful-lessons-ive-learned-from-having-threesomes-so-far-39545

Phew – yes, that was an audible sigh of relief you heard! There’s still quite a bit of shame around sex, often perpetuated by stigma, but a low libido might happen by choice. Even if you’ve invested in sex toys and personal lubricants, if you’re not ‘feeling it’, you likely won’t enjoy it!

There are a range of things that affect how high your sex drive is that don’t have anything to do with your relationship, sexual orientation or your gender identity.

If sex has taken a back seat in your life lately, don’t panic – chances are it won’t last forever. For starters, your lack of drive might be due to:

• Any medications you’re taking.
• Imbalances in your hormones.
• Your level of self-esteem.
• Any shame you might be feeling around your desires.
• Stress and anxiety from your lifestyle.

It could also be the phase of your life – your libido can change as you get older, so if you’re craving less sex, it’s not the end of the world. You might not need to have sex every single day, you could be satisfied with mind-blowing sex every now and then. Try to think in terms of quality sex, not quantity.

Want to boost your libido? Try this…

If you’re not satisfied with your sex drive, you don’t have to just accept it. There are things you can do, such as:

• Ask yourself honestly: “am I happy with how much sex I’m having?” That way you can make a plan to address it.
• Ask your partner honestly: “how can we keep the fire burning so sex remains a big part of our relationship?” They may have ideas you haven’t considered.
• Visit your local sex shop; take a scroll through the SKYN® website for tips, tutorials and more; and ask questions. Find out what sex toys might enhance your experience (we’re big fans of personal lubricants).
• Book an appointment with a sex therapist – they can, in an unbiased way, help you get to the core of what’s going on.
• Take a microscope to your life to see what habits are serving you and which ones are draining your energy. Your sleep, diet and movement practices are crucial to your wellbeing and (spoiler alert) they affect your libido. Don’t assume you need hormone therapy – start by making small, incremental changes and see what happens.
• Create positive affirmation about your sex drive that go against what society wants you to believe. It’s not slutty to have a lot of sex. It’s also not prudish to not want to have it as much. Dictate your own destiny – own your sexuality!

It doesn’t matter where you sit on the spectrum of sexuality: be gentle with yourself. And when you’re in the mood to play and step things up a notch, we’ve got you covered. Start by exploring the range of SKYN® condoms, then see where the pleasure leads you!
 

So, what makes pegging so alluring?

No matter how you identify yourself, there’s a whole world of wonderful sensations hidden in the anal area to be found in the abundant nerve endings. Females can tap into another level of indirect stimulation via the clitoris (by accessing it from another angle). While males can enjoy a direct path to the coveted ‘p-spot’ (aka the male g-spot), a mere 2 inches into the anus.

The best part? Nerve endings aren’t defined by a gender or sexual identity, so it’s ‘game on’ for anyone who’s willing and able to explore!

Pleasure takes many forms

Trying something new – whether it’s an activity or even a new toy from your local adult shop – can unearth all kinds of unexpected sensations, both physical and emotional. Pegging changes the way males and females relate to one another during sex by switching the traditional gender roles. As women can become more dominant by pegging, heterosexual men can experience more vulnerability as they discover different ways to orgasm, like via their prostate because of the anal stimulation.

Experimenting with a partner you trust gives you the opportunity to play and connect in new and meaningful ways. Pegging isn’t reserved for those who are super kinky either – penetrating a sexual partner while wearing a strap-on dildo is something anyone can try.

And who knows, you might just unlock your best sex yet!

When you’re ready to experiment, make sure you take a look at SKYN® lubricants to create an experience that will leave you asking for more.