In an age when women are speaking up against harassment and assault, and feeling empowered enough to share their stories, it’s important to recognise that another revolution, one that has been slowly progressing year by year for decades, is coming to a head: we as a society are beginning to feel safe and secure in exploring our sexuality and fantasies in earnest, and expressing them to our partners, without apologizing.
As a society, we are coming to terms with the idea that pleasure is an endless exploration. Intimacy is not a caricature — like porn, or movies, or brands would have us think. Real intimacy is poorly-timed, awkward, messy and imperfect… and it’s these imperfections that make it so incredibly exciting.
For the first time we are learning… without judgement, shame, or shyness — to become comfortable with the idea of embracing what we like and exploring it. And becoming less hesitant to say “no” to what we don’t.
Be honest with myself.
Be honest with my partner.
Feel comfortable exploring porn.
Masturbate more.
Be open to trying new things.
Endlessly explore my sexuality.
Author Erica Garza perfectly sums it up: “Get a vibrator, explore your body, see what you like, don’t be afraid of fantasy, explore your mind, be honest in the bedroom, and don’t fall into the trap of ‘performative sex.’ We might think sex looks a certain way, or a guy will like certain things, but it’s important to be real and honest and not be afraid of being vulnerable about your desires.”
